The Next Thing I Knew
by ToTurnBackTime
Summary: Singapore and Malaysia's relationship, through suffering and changing times. Historical Male!Singapore, Male!Malaysia, no pairings, sibling love


When England came to meet Singapore for the first time, the young boy was scrawny, skinny and bruised.

Malaysia had blamed himself for not looking after his younger brother properly. He was overcome with immense guilt that Singapore had to suffer hunger pangs and scrapes; the boy was really clumsy.

England reached out a hand and introduced himself. "Hello, there. I'm England."

Singapore blinked. "England…"

His voice was cracked and weighed by an accent. His dark eyes showed wariness for this sand-coloured hair stranger. He shyly gripped Malaysia's hand. The older nation managed a weak smile.

"Don't worry, he won't hurt you," Malaysia said reassuringly.

England smiled as he extended his hand. Singapore stared wordlessly for a moment. He then reached out, and his thin fingers caught hold of England's larger ones. England chuckled softly. Singapore then hastily withdrew his hand and held Malaysia's.

Little did the younger nation know that this would be the last time he would hold his big brother's hand before being handed over to England.

* * *

><p>The next time, Singapore and Malaysia meet, it's a home visit.<p>

Malaysia happily noticed that Singapore had changed; his scrapes were gone, he had gained weight and his skin was of a healthy glow. Although he looked well, he was still leggy and clumsy.

Malaysia chuckled as Singapore stumbled forward. The young nation, who now looked around ten, came up to Malaysia. The older nation smiles as he ruffles Singapore's hair.

"How have you been?"

"The food's terrible!" Singapore sputtered. "It can't compare to… erm… what you cook, abang! It's... um… how do you say it…"

"Singapore!" England called. Malaysia and Singapore turned towards England, who was running up to them.

"Ah, England, it's been quite some time," Malaysia commented. England smiled back as he caught his breath.

"I agree," he said. He shifted his gaze to Singapore. "Don't go running off like that next time, alright?"

"Okay," Singapore replied shortly. He looked around and his face lit up.

"It's changed!" he exclaimed. "There used to be trees here!"

"Yes, it has," Malaysia said. Trees were cut down and areas of the jungle were cleared to make room for housing and marketplaces. What was then a dreary island with a small population of fishermen and animals for inhabitants was now a bustling fishing port.

"Why not I'll show you around?" Malaysia suggested.

Singapore nodded. "Okay!"

"I'll leave it to you two, then," England said. "I'll come back in a week's time to take him back."

Malaysia nodded. It was just a week, but Malaysia wanted to make the most out of it, to make seven days seem like seven years, or maybe perhaps forever. He didn't want to say goodbye to his younger brother and return home wondering when the next time he would come back. He wanted to stay by his brother's side forever.

* * *

><p>When war arrives, there is no choice other than to fight. At least, that was what Malaysia thought.<p>

War came to his home. It just happened so fast, so sudden. Malaysia remembered the screams, the intense heat of the raging flames, gunshots, and the heavy air. His heart was thumping as he rushed out of his house, with only one person on his mind. That image of the boy he loved, that fun-loving, carefree nation, stayed clear, even when his own lungs threatened to choke him.

He continued running. He was headed for the shores. He had to find Singapore. He just _had _to.

But, when he came to the shores, it was empty. Nothing but a sheet of blackened white. Disappointment and longing overwhelmed Malaysia as he dropped to his knees out of exhaustion. The air around him suddenly became like a foreign material he couldn't take in. The noises in the background were muted. Malaysia felt his own heart beating, thumping. Gripping his chest, Malaysia prayed that Singapore was alright, and that maybe his own heart was beating for Singapore too.

But Singapore was far from alright. He was now a teenager, looking around seventeen. He had long lost his childhood clumsiness. His normal speech was now replaced with the heavy use of his own brand of language which he had picked up. He had grown up, now standing just slightly shorter than England. He lacked muscles, although he had physical strength.

But not the emotional strength for what was going to experience.

That day, that fateful day, Singapore was handed over to Japan. He would have tried to go against it, root his feet to the ground and refuse to follow the other Asian nation. But that would get him nowhere. He wordlessly followed Japan and the distance between him and his now former guardian stretched.

The next few years were hell. Singapore was forced to watch his own citizens, citizens of his nationality, be brought to faraway places only to never return. He had watched the Prisoners of War be tortured heavily. Every time he watched them endure the pain or hear them howl, Singapore felt like he would throw up.

For Malaysia, just being apart from his sibling, not knowing what was happening, was more than enough to send him into a sea of emotion. He was constantly worried. He went off his food on some occasions. Confined to his own homeland, he gazed at the sky everyday and prayed for his brother's safety. He hoped Singapore was at least being looked after properly. He prayed that one day, they would meet again.

* * *

><p>Thankfully, that day <em>did <em>come. The Japanese Occupation had ended; Singapore was handed back to England. Although Singapore was glad to be back with his guardian, the one he truly missed was his big brother. He came looking for Malaysia after blackmailing England. The teenager ran off to look for his brother.

"MALAYSIA!" Singapore yelled. He didn't care if anybody gave him weird looks, if the birds made strange noises at his yelp. As so long as Malaysia could hear him and find him, it overall didn't matter.

"Singapore?" a familiar voice said. Singapore turned around. He saw Malaysia walk up to him, a weak smile on his face.

Both of them noticed that the other changed. For Singapore, he noticed that Malaysia seemed thinner and that he looked really tired. For Malaysia, he saw that Singapore had lost some weight, but other than that seemed fine. They smiled as they were within arm's length. Singapore pulled a face.

"Hey," he greeted Malaysia.

Malaysia chuckled. "That's some way to greet your elders."

No hugs were exchanged. No handshake, no tears. Just a melody of words strung together that were finally said.

* * *

><p>Although Singapore looked neutral when those words came out of Malaysia's mouth, Malaysia was sure that Singapore was only keeping a facade.<p>

After the meeting and the final decision, Singapore went out to get some fresh air. Malaysia found him outside, seated on a bench, his jacket worn off and tied around his waist, a can of Coke in his hand. Malaysia wondered if he should be smiling. Even in times like this, Singapore was still Singapore.

"Hey," Malaysia said as he walked towards Singapore. The other lifted his head.

"Malaysia," he murmured. He sighed as he rubbed his temple. "Wahliao sia, not happy with merger is it?"

"No, it's not that," Malaysia said quickly. "I told you, it was my boss's decision as well as my own. I'm sorry, but I don't think it'll work out."

"Yeah, I also thought so," Singapore muttered as he took a sip of his drink.

"Oh?" Malaysia said. "You thought so?"

"Please lah, why would I want to stay with you forever?" Singapore grumbled. "You so naggy, why would I want to be with you?"

"No, really, are you okay?" Malaysia asked out of pure concern.

Singapore averted his gaze for a moment, his face painted with a slight distaste and bitterness.

"Yeah… maybe…" he murmured softly.

Malaysia was rather taken aback by this answer. It wasn't like Singapore to give such a reply.

Holding back a gesture of sympathy, Malaysia turned and walked away, leaving some space for Singapore to think.

* * *

><p>"Okay, let the ASEAN meeting commence!" Philippines enthused. "And coconut shells to those who fall asleep or don't pay attention!"<p>

"SINGAPORE!" Malaysia said as he whacked Singapore's head. The other nation yelped as he was jolted out of his sleep roughly.

"Wahliao! Xiao ah, you? Whack so hard…" Singapore grumbled to himself. Laos snickered.

"What is it now? Did Singy's head get all bruised by Malaysia and Philippines' punishments?" Laos said.

"Shut up lah! You're the one to talk!" Singapore shot back. "You also got punished by Phili-jie as well…"

Malaysia leaned back in his chair as Philippines tried to calm down the arguing Singapore and Laos. Time had passed. Singapore was no longer than skinny, scrawny, clumsy child. Nor was he that preteen with clipped English and fluent Malay and Mandarin. In that place, he was a carefree, fun, extremely lazy guy who could converse well in Malay and Mandarin, and could whip up the best local dishes. Oh, and who became Laos' fighting buddy.

Malaysia smiled. All those years, those memories. He remembered the time when he first held young Singapore in his arms, when he handed his Singapore to England, when they met again from time to time, how their relationship improved after the war, and their divorce. Oh, and not to mention the formation of Association of South-East Asian Nations, ASEAN for short. He, along with his closest sibling figures, Singapore, Philippines, Indonesia and Thailand, were the founding members. Then Brunei joined. Vietnam followed. Then Myanmar (then Burma but claimed to change his name because it sounded cooler) thought it was fun and he and Laos joined. Then Laos got snippy when Cambodia's membership got suspended, but eventually Cambodia joined in. Then they became whole.

Malaysia chuckled. Relationships had expanded and they knew each other better. Singapore and Thailand got along well, but Singapore and Laos still squabbled, leaving poor Cambodia to sort out the mess himself. Brunei and Myanmar often stepped in drunk. Indonesia stayed quiet during conferences. Philippines was always up to punish whoever wasn't paying attention.

Malaysia smiled as he faced the ceiling. How times changed. He sighed as he closed his eyes and pictured the peaceful shores.

"Oi, Malaysia! Dreaming or what?" Malaysia's eyes snapped open as Singapore flicked his head. "Phili-jie already starting meeting!"

"O-oh…" Malaysia said, feeling slightly embarrassed that he was thinking back like an old man. He saw Singapore head back to his seat, standing tall and proud like the nation he is. Malaysia smiled.

_That's my Singapore_, he thought, turning his attention back to the meeting.


End file.
